Life changes fast and at every moment !  Ever since becoming an anchor and doing my own shows on national TV , ehh something i always wanted to do….writing for myself never really happened…its been more than four months i guess!! its funny how i was on the other side of the table a few days back….. i use to write my blog thinking & dreaming about scripting my own shows or books someday and today i wonder about getting all that free time and space & energy to write for my blog…Its just another ordinary day today…or perhaps not !!

spending my time doing daily chores…cooking for myself this realisation just happened to me & while chopping pineapple and seeing how almost 70% of the fruit goes to waste and yet we pay a lot of money for buying it i realsied how in life we run after things that probably aint worth it !!

Its nostalgic to be able to get back to writing and real writing indeed !! not just scripting mhy shows….it feels great to be able to let the thoughts flow & share them with many others….








just another day # 1

the magic of human mind … the beauty of its creations at its best….

a simple cut / copy / paste function in a not so simple laptop

how quickly the text just disappears and re appears gracefully , almost mystically in another space…. like the sun playing hide and seek on a rainy day …… the words go invisible and then re appear , every time leaving this amused feeling behind…..

how beautiful is the transition ….. it almost went ” Slow-mo” right here in front of my eyes …. like…. time just rolled a little too slow…. only to reveal me this originality ………… the beauty of the mundane..


Contemplation of death

I am not a crapehanger but I don’t hesitate pondering upon death. I have always wondered if it really means the end of everything or is just the beginning.

So maybe it is the end of a waking consciousness; the decay of a physical self and the beginning of an endless journey for a soul.

You might think I have lost it or probably I am some occult practitioner who worships Satan and talks of evil but let me tell you I am none of these but the very fact that death is so mysterious makes it a muse, not just mine but of many others too.

Somebody once said that Death is just a phenomenon and the one who is about to die knows his end is near. So is it possible that probably each one of us would know exactly when, where and how we would die? I mean does death really give us signs; does it give us a caveat emptor that in most cases hence goes ignored.

What happens to the soul when one is dead? Does it leave the earthly physical realm and enter into the void? Or does the soul embark on its journey to an altogether different world? But like they say that there are only a few souls that are freed from the cycle of life and death, then what happens to others? Where do they go and what do they do apart from haunting the living?

They say that for sometime after a person’s death, they can still hear and see the world as it is but they cannot communicate with it. So probably if you ever end up dying an unfortunate death, you can actually spy on that unfaithful mate of yours and spook the soul out of them too , if at all you can do that ( the other theory says souls can).

If death really means the final liberation then how long does the soul wait for that?

I think to me its more like astral travel to some other realm until your soul chooses to return for a purpose unresolved and if this is possible then what is this other world like and where does it exist? do they even need this refuge?

The maker’s of movie “final destination” came with this thought that death always gives you signs. I know it’s grim and probably to some it even sounds ridiculous but think about those times we all have faced; we exactly knew something terrible is going to happen, like we have this gut feeling of high discomfort about a road trip or a u-turn you just took. Is it your intuition that’s guiding you or is it some supernatural being (like god or angels or yeah the Vatican’s favourite “devil”) warning you “hey you better watch out, there’s something waiting for you ahead?

Does our inner self really know everything and if it does then why is not everybody able to dig into this info-bank and retrieve answers to all questions? Or why at the first hand when we have access to all information, we end up screwing ourselves so badly that some of us even die? Why is this process to spiritual enlightenment so tough if the powers are equally given to all?

What about those people who knew they would meet with an accident; they knew all possible bits of information, they might have had visions and other spooky stuff and yet they ignore the message. How then we still cannot avoid death?

So is it all bad luck? But like the metaphysics theories when we can control our destiny then why can’t death be tamed too?

Across the world there are people who have had near death experiences, who have seen this strange light and done astral travel and came back. There are proofs of these people living and sharing their experiences. There are also people who have told of seeing death, they knew their time has come; they claim of different supernatural events that happened with them like “Seeing the Grim Reaper “ ehh sound’s scary but they have shared such incidents with the loved ones who apparently couldn’t feel same because it wasn’t yet their time. So then does death unveils itself only to those whose time is nearing? Or it’s omnipresent and maybe it’s right there standing in the form of a tree which is about to fall and you don’t realize it until you read the next day’s headlines saying “one person killed because of a thunderstorm last night, body found crushed beneath a tree”.

I have met people who have described to me exactly how they might die, it’s like they have chosen for themselves out of a menu card; so sure as if their life plan was already disclosed to them or like they designed it themselves. I have experienced a lot many times the- “I knew it will happen” feeling and therefore I cannot possibly challenge these claims by people who say they knew how and when they would die.

Well, I really don’t have an answer to many of the questions that I have asked and I don’t know if I will get them any sooner , however death will still continue to remain an enigma to humans and maybe there are freaks like me out there ( I’m sure that’ what you’re calling me by now ) who are also looking for answers and asking stupid weird questions and so hopefully someday we will know if not all then some of death’s secrets.

The taxi driver from Dehradhun

I feel random stories from life experiences are always very attractive ; whether they unfold in front of us or we unfolding them in front of someone. Either way it gives birth to a new thought, a new interpretation and of course a new understanding of the rhetoric. Sometimes certain meetings and events open up the flood gates of our imagination, they compel us to look at what’s behind the curtain and often they make people like me write stories like this.

on 18th of October 2014 as I was leaving for the airport, to catch the flight that will take me back home :

A surprisingly tall, good looking man with a heavy voice and a proper Punjabi accent steps out of the taxi I had hired. This Young man , probably in his later twenties; his friendly welcome made my doubt alarm ring louder than it ever did before, given the fact travelling with stranger’s in Delhi could be unsafe. With all these thoughts buzzing in my head I tried to console myself that nothing will go wrong. For all the evil reputation the people of Delhi enjoy, an outsider can never really give up this doubting shit. With much of faith and courage I eased out in sometime, however the doubts never completely left my mind.

He initiated a conversation confirming with me my destination and we started off with the journey to IGI. To add up more to my unrest was the fact that it was early morning hour and very less people were to be seen on the roads. Yes I did feel sceptical.

Mid way somewhere closer to the metro station, he suddenly pulled the brakes, kind of got lost on track but he soon managed to identify the correct route. Giving me a panic stroke and scaring me to the bone with this act , he laughs mildly and says “I am sorry” these flyover’s can be mind boggling sometimes; cursing him in my thoughts, I wondered “ isn’t a taxi driver suppose to know all routes to the airport ” ?

Few minutes of silence and early morning peace were suddenly broken by a question: madam aap kaha se ho? of course I wondered why he would want to know that? Doubting the intention, I answered him I am from Delhi; I work with ndtv, an intended reference.

“We outsiders” don’t really brave ourselves by mentioning “we are non locals” , at least not here in Delhi ; we rather play it smart.

The next comment that followed was rather kind of interesting. He says “madam ap logo ka job bahut mushkil haina , jitna easy tv pe dikhta hai utna hai nahi ? (Madam your job is really tough,it doesn’t seem to that easy as it looks on tv).

Surprised and impressed was I at how this man who is not well educated can actually understand the intricacy of a journalist’s job. He doesn’t even know what a journalist is or if that term even exists. I realized that maybe it’s not necessary to be well educated to have an understanding of things; Good observation works in exchange.

I later got to know that this man had observed a recruitment drive for some media company in a local mall because of which he had an insight to share.

Just when I was impressed with his intelligence, I was revealed his personal story which made me look beyond my own perfect life.

Life is not always smooth and it’s definitely not easy. For some people it offers lessons from mistakes, for others it waits the right time to spit back the venom they have fathered over time; “Karma “they call it. in whatever form it comes, life always reveals some of its ugliest truths; Just like it revealed its unfair self to this man I had just met.

The driver , lets call him “ Z “ , is from a small hill town in uttarakhand. His forefather’s were rich and affluent. They had a big house and farmlands nearby. A happy and well fed family , but not for too long.

Just like in Ekta Kapoor serials, a vicious neighbour (not a bhabhi or saas for a change ) who shares a portion of the big house; lives with the family for a good number of years and then usurps a major chunk of their property .

Z and his parents are not left with much of the ancestral wealth and therefore now live in a bigger city to earn a living. A car accident took away z’s expensive vehicle which he earlier drove as taxi. He cannot ask his parents for financial aid and so he somehow manages to arrange for the cost and buys a used car here in Delhi ; to work as a cabby.

His entire story had affected me greatly; in a flash of seconds I was shown so many faces and truths of life. I understood its brevity; every single moment is as precious as it will ever be. Deception is an ugly truth, it will somehow creep and crawl up to you; like succubus, it lures and attracts you and later destroys you. It’s like one of the foundation pillars of life; no one is spared its wrath. The conniving will always profit from the meekness of a pure heart; being insipid maybe good but that isn’t an advantage most of the time.

Money looks like the cause of all evil; whether you have it or not, you will still be in trouble. Life will throw you watermelons; those willing to manoeuvre a way out end up with happy faces. You will not always be as lucky as you are in this moment; an opportunity lost is a loss forever. Your family is the only thing that will never leave you alone; gratitude is the key to all abundance. And finally the biggest lesson learnt is to learn to trust the inner voice that is your best guidance.